Pastoral Musings

Tim Challie’s mother guest blogs on divorce.

I am continually amazed, then re-amazed, at the carnage of divorce. I see this in Heather, a beautiful and godly friend of my youngest daughter.

Every holiday is a time of balancing all the family pushes and pulls for a child of divorce. No matter what uneasy solution a child arrives at, it does not satisfy everyone, and the child herself is ultimately blamed for causing unhappiness. In this case, ongoing pressure is placed on Heather to warmly embrace the woman who willingly displaced Mom when Dad decided to trade her in for a newer model several years ago. Mom was left bitter and potentially destitute—without even medical insurance; certainly no current skills with which to provide for herself.

Dad goes on to a life of increased wealth as he marries a young, childless woman immersed in the corporate world. Do you challenge Mom about her bitterness? When? How? Do you refuse to acknowledge Dad’s new acquisition as a relevant part of your life? When? How? And all this comes to a head at holiday time. You have to make specific choices that externalize your thinking on the matter.

Who will I eat Thanksgiving dinner with?

Christmas dinner?

I have prayed and agonized with Heather over these things. I generally encourage her to give her mother the best of every holiday—it may not be a bad thing for Dad to live with the consequences of his actions. Still, there is no truly satisfactory outcome in this situation. It is too broken.

I came up against this again last weekend as I spoke on the phone with an old friend from Washington. She and her husband have both been divorced in the past. They experience holidays, of course, from the perspective of the parents. That is, with many tears. She said they both had been crying for days—crying for too many absent spots at the table, too many war wounds in their young. They are at the receiving end of the choices their kids make for holiday time.

I pray for you, my children, that you will all see with the eyes of eternity—that through the trials and tribulations of life—specifically marriage—you will never have the shade of a doubt that, from all eternity, God planned for you to be with the one you have pledged to be faithful to. Guard your hearts and never allow the slightest strain of, “Well, maybe”, or “What if”, to enter your minds. Your unconditional commitment to your marriage, based on a total conviction of God’s sovereignty in bringing you together, is its greatest strength!

Kyle Boreing has in interesting post on tracks and how that it is difficult to recover from a mistake when using them.

I am not too fond of tracks. I like orchestration, but I like spontaneity better. I remember fondly the days of the 70’s and 80’s when practically everyone had a full band. I know that economic factors figure in largely with this issue. No doubt that is why many do not have bands.

My question is this: Is it possible to see this change? Is there a widespread desire to see this change? If the answer to these two question is “yes”, what can be done to make the change feasible and attractive to the groups that depend on tracks?

Just musing…….

Let us not forget to give thanks today, but also every day. This is God’s will for us, and an attitude of gratitude helps to keep us from sin.

“ Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.” ( Ephesians 5:1-4 ) KJV

When we are thankful for what we have and are content in the Lord we will find that we sin less.

The greater the joy in God, the less we sin.

For this reason, ” Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” ( Hebrews 13:5) KJV

Just musing…..

Desiring God has a new post on tithing. 

I like what they have to say.

My response is that tithing is Christian.

tithing.doc

Just a note to state that pastoral work and remodeling a house to move into take precedence over this blog.  I trust to be back in a week or two.

Thanks for checking in.

The Pastor…..

Daniel Mount has an interesting post about Southern Gospel musicians and the fact that they do not receive as much income as many would think.

I post this close on the heels of an article about pastoral income.

This saddens me.  Why should Christians not support their own……especially those who minister to them?

We have been given so much and give back so little, yet the Lord said,  “freely ye have received, freely give.”  (Matthew 10: KJV

Surely the grace of God would motivate us to gladly do better than we do.

Just musing…….